The King is Gone, But He’s Not Forgotten

A discussion this morning amongst fellow widows over on Supa Freshwidow‘s facebook group WidVille brought up a special song that I feel is time to share.

Neil Young’s “Hey Hey My My (Out of the Blue)” is one of those songs that will forever hold a spot in my heart. My throat constricts when I hear those opening notes, yet I want to listen to it. I want to hear it and remember the good, yet I turn it off because my mind goes to the bad.

“Hey Hey My My” was one of my husband’s favorite songs. He loved to listen to it, to jam out and sing while driving his new truck or to play it while he was climbing boulders at our favorite spot by the creek. It was one of his favorites to play on the guitar, he had perfected it and gently played it for our then-3-month-old son in his darkened nursery as I rocked him to sleep the night before he flew away for deployment…the last night he ever spent with him.

When I was planning his funeral arrangements, it only seemed fitting that this song be played. It kept haunting me, lingering in my mind, yet I almost forgot the music. Thank you to a special friend for remembering to bring it, because the day would not have been the same without Neil Young. For those few minutes, as the song played strongly, the military ceremony went out the window and it was all about my husband’s soul, his spirit, and his love for music. His brother and his closest friends carried him out of the chapel to this song, as we all listened to the haunting yet comforting lyrics… “The king is gone but he’s not forgotten…my my hey hey, rock and roll is here to stay…”

At the time, all I was thinking was how much this song meant to him, how much it represented a huge part of him. Only later did I realize just how fitting the song really is…kind of amazing, in a heartwrenching way, to think about, and yet another odd aligning of everything that will forever baffle me.

I’m sharing this song and it’s meaning for the first time today. I feel like putting this out there will help keep my husband’s spirit and essence alive, for it truly embodies an important piece of him. And I vow to listen to this song more — without tears for the bad, but with smiles for all the good.

Neil Young — “My My Hey Hey”  (the acoustic version to it’s counterpart, “Hey Hey My My”)

Hey hey, my my
Rock and roll can never die
There’s more to the picture
Than meets the eye.
Hey hey, my my.

Out of the blue
and into the black
They give you this,
but you pay for that
And once you’re gone,
you can never come back
When you’re out of the blue
and into the black.

The king is gone
but he’s not forgotten
Is this the story
of a Johnny Rotten
It’s better to burn out
than to fade away
The king is gone
but he’s not forgotten.

My my, hey hey
Rock and roll is here to stay
Hey hey, my my…

Tiffany Ellis

This is SO beautiful!! I admire your strength. I can’t even begin to izmagine how you feel and I won’t pretend to either. I wish other spouses could have your strength to be able to face the day and honor their fallen lo ed ones. I know no words in the words could make you”feel better”. I just hope that these words could offer some sort of comfort for you and hope that you know that Brian was a great person and is defiantely missed. As a soxldier in the military, I salute you!!!

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