Somewhere amidst the self-pity party I’ve been wallowing in lately, I’ve been humbled.
I’ve tried to type this post a few times now and keep deleting each try. Every word seems shallow, not enough to convey the meaning of how much a simple moment changed me.
I saw an elderly man today, his expression sad and his legs limping. And although that man was just fine, something about him tugged hard at my heart. In a moment, I was reminded of all of the things I should be grateful for. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, burying myself in my grief, and drowning myself in my loneliness, I should be thankful. Thankful that I am alive. Thankful that I am able to keep a roof over my child’s head and dress him in warm clothes. Thankful that I have food in my pantry and don’t have to worry about how I am going to feed my baby tomorrow. Thankful that I am healthy and strong, even if I have been neglecting my poor body for the past year. Thankful that I am able to give my son Christmas…
Instead of focusing on what I don’t have this holiday season, I should be focusing on what I DO. Although he may be in heaven instead of on this Earth, I still have the love of a wonderful man, The Hubs. I still have an endless eternal connection with my soulmate. I still have all of the wonderful memories of the life we shared together. And, I still have our son. Our beautiful, perfect, healthy and vivacious Little Man, an amazing piece of his Daddy and my little blessing. And although he isn’t here to physically take care of us, The Hubs has taken care of us in every other way he could have. And I am thankful.
Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s only a matter of hours before the grief works it’s way back in and I’m overwhelmed by how much I miss The Hubs and how much it hurts to be left without him and our life. But I’ve been inspired to work harder at incorporating thankfulness into my life, and to give back some to others who might be in a harder situation. Somewhere, someone can’t say the same things I said above. Somewhere, someone is struggling to feed their child. Someone can’t celebrate Christmas or their chosen holiday. Someone is hurting physically as well as emotionally.
Take a moment to consider giving to others this holiday season. If you have a few extra dollars to give, they are sure to help. If you have a few extra hours to volunteer, I think they would help even more. And if you don’t have either, I’m a firm believer that prayers, warm thoughts, and good wishes help too. They sure have kept me going the past 15 months. <3
Guides and Directories
Charitable Organizations (not in any particular order, there are MANY more out there, and no they did not endorse this blog post!)