I’ve taken a big step. A leap of faith, of hope.
Well I guess I’ve not quite taken it yet, but I have determinedly made the decision to do so, which is just as important.
I’ve decided to start therapy.
I tried counseling once before, a little over a year ago, at the urging of a good friend. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a good experience and didn’t last very long. It nearly turned me off to the idea altogether and I didn’t anticipate trying it again. However, time has allowed me to see now that the experience was simply a case of a ‘poor fit’. The psychiatrist wasn’t very comfortable with what I brought to the table and our outcomes were not focused in the same direction, and I wasn’t strong enough to ask for what I wanted or expected. Sadly we didn’t mesh well, so it wasn’t beneficial.
I’m now strong enough to realize that I do need this and I am ready to stand up and speak up for myself. So I am going to start the journey of finding the right person, forming a proper client/therapist relationship, and delving into my issues. It’s a hard step to take — hell, it’s hard enough to realize that you need therapy, much less actually persevere through the hard work of fighting through it. It’s not going to be easy to face my pain, my fears, my shortcomings — but my loved ones deserve it, the Little Man deserves it, The Hubs deserves it, and yes I am ready to say that I deserve it.
I am ready to face my painful past, my lonely present. I am ready for a happy future. And I am ready to say I need help to get there.
It is my hope that if, as you are reading this, anything I’ve said strikes a chord with you, you’ll feel the same strength I am now filled with to take that first step, no, to leap boldly, to own your future. You deserve happiness. You deserve peace. You deserve resolution of your pain, your fears, your past that haunts you.
Seeking help does not make you weak. It makes you strong.