Taking Back My Body

Today I took a big step. Well, a bunch of them actually, and tossed in some weights and calisthenics and plyometrics too! I finally got off my growing bum and got back into the gym.

I used to be a pretty fit and active person. I didn’t have to worry too much about what I ate or follow a strict workout plan, I was just naturally blessed with a good metabolism and slim physique. This ALL changed when I got pregnant with our son. No matter how careful I was, I gained and gained like crazy. And the SPD I was diagnosed with prevented me from being very active. I had greatly looked forward to getting back into shape once our babe was a little older, but then The Hubs deployed and then everything happened… About a year ago, I got a gym membership and was finally on my way to getting fit again, but grief got the best of me and I didn’t keep it up.

The emotional effects of grief and stress are obvious, but often grieving people are so caught up in the mental pain that it takes a while to see the toll it has taken physically. Now that some time has passed and I can take a good look back, it’s easy to see that stress has absolutely had a negative impact on my health. Aside from struggles with depression and anxiety, my hormones level were imbalanced and my heart arrhythmia was exacerbated and I developed insomnia. Most of these things are somewhat under control now, and there is only one big thing (pun intended) staring back at me — my out-of-shape body.

I’ve challenged myself to take back my body and my health. It’s about more than just the weight, it’s about strength and discipline and energy. It will be a lot of work, but I’ve finally gotten to a place where I know I am worth it. I just have to fight back against the negative thoughts in my mind, push through the pain barriers and weakness, and prove to myself that I can do this. A total transformation began today, and I’m so glad to finally embark on the journey to reclaiming myself and feeling great in my own skin.

All of this said, holy cow! I’m beat. Two hours total, circuits and strength training and cardio and abs galore. I wanted to give up about halfway through but I just thought of The Hubs encouraging face and smile (as well as his smart-ass comments, haha!) and pushed through. And I’m so glad I did, because now I feel amazing! Stress, you have met your match — endorphins!

If you are struggling with grief, loss, depression, or any form of stress and pain, I encourage you to take a deeper look at how it may be affecting you physically. Invest in yourself, in your body, and take good care of yourself. You are worth it! <3


This is so true. Stress and depression can really take a toll on not only our physical being but, our mental being as well. Not only for myself but, for my family and those around me I am also trying to find myself again. The old me. The me before my Dad passed away. It’s so hard to find a balance in life now with so much negative feelings inside but, I am bound and determined to overcome this. I owe it to my Kids….I owe it to Dad. He knew what an outgoing, fun loving and sarcastic person I was and I know for a fact, he wouldn’t like the me I have allowed myself to evolve into. Anyway, I am right there with you Erin!! Just wish I lived closer :(

Keep up the awesome work and know that I am right here cheering you on!!



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