Today, I will think about all of the birthdays we’ve shared in our 16 years.
Many apart, some together. I will think about the amazing soul that was
brought into this world to touch so many… and I will think about how you loved
to hold those “13 days older” over me. :) Even if I have to turn 28
without you, you will always be my lucky 13.
Today, I will cry. I will hurt. I will wish that I was burning your birthday cake
because we were too busy laughing and hugging and drinking to pay attention
to anything else. I will wish that you could actually touch the finger-paintings
Little Man makes for you, instead of watching us bring them “to Daddy’s grass”.
I will drink many beers for you, even with my Mama at my house (which I know
you will get a kick out of). I will get on your bike and ride it again, even though
it’s been over a year and I will only make it around the block and know I will
fall and you will be laughing and smiling at me. And I will wish, more than
anything, that your mother and father and son were singing you Happy Birthday
instead of the angels.
But I will try to find comfort in the fact that you are more peaceful than you
have ever been, and you understand everything that we don’t, and we will join
you one day. Until then, know that on your birthday, and always, we love you
and remember every single solitary moment, and will never forget.
I love you, panda.
“Those who have been ransomed by the Lord will return. They will enter Jerusalem singing, crowned with everlasting joy. Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with joy and gladness.” — Isaiah 51:11