Expectations. You’re better off without them.
So many times over the past four years, I have lived with expectations. Whether it was conscious or subconscious, they were there. Expectations for myself, like how I ‘should’ act or feel, or what a ‘normal/good’ widow would do. Expectations for others, believing that things wouldn’t eventually change when many of the people close to The Hubs said they would stay in our lives. Expectations for the future, in some ways just treading water in the present while constantly looking toward what is next: when will this all be over, when will the next chapter get here, what is coming and when will it start?
But having expectations only sets you up for failure.
If life has taught me anything, it’s that there is no way to know what is coming. If you get so caught up on what could or what you think should happen, on planning your life out, on behaving a certain way or expecting certain behavior from others, on waiting for the perfect moments to get here so you can do certain things…well, you might be waiting forever.
You’re better off without expectations. Does this mean we shouldn’t have standards, should stop striving, stop being motivated, turn off our ambition and sit back on the couch not caring about life? No. Not at all. But it’s important to realize that we aren’t in control, and no matter how much we prepare and hope for things to happen, it’s possible that life might have another plan.
So don’t set your expectations in stone. Don’t pin your happiness on those set things. Make sure they are fluid, or leave them out to shore altogether.
Besides, you never know.
It could be much more fun to discover the unexpected beauty that washes up at your feet. <3