It’s coming.

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I can feel it.

The rigidity is increasing in my bones, tendons and emotions pulled taut, cords of muscle and tempers pulling a little tighter each day as everything braces in anticipation of what is to come.

Every year it is the same. I know it will come and I know I will survive it. I know that the weeks and days leading up to it will be worse than the actual thing itself, but that doesn’t change it.

You would think that by now I would be used to this ride. The hold-your-breath, clench-everything, pit-in-your-stomach ascent to the pinnacle of the roller coaster. And while I do know now to double check my seat belt and clutch the bar a little tighter, I still can’t seem to calm the butterflies in my stomach or stop from closing my eyes.

Pretty soon we’ll be teetering on the edge…and then we’ll plunge down.

5 years.

It’s coming.

 

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