Hello all! Been a busy week around these parts, we have company visiting so I’ve been spending more time offline. It’s in great timing to keep my mind off the impending anniversary approaching later this month. Both the Little Dude and I are enjoying visiting and taking trips to the beach and hanging out with friends and family. I’ll be back regularly with more posts next week. For now I thought I’d pop on with a quick informational post to let you know about two very exciting things for the blog!
I am pleased to announce that the blog has been awarded another great honor. Remember our nomination for the Top 25 Mental Wellness Blogs from Circle of Moms? Thanks to your support, NYAW has been named the 3rd top blog! Check out my interview and the other top 25 bloggers featured. I am so thankful for this honor and for the ability to reach and support others who are dealing with similar situations. It’s wonderful to be a part of such a great community of strong women.
Also, you may have noticed the addition of a few ads on the blog. I’m now a part of the BlogHer Publishing Network! You’ll now see ads and links to relevant posts by other bloggers in both the header and sidebar of my blog. Be sure to check out the blog links, the network is filled with wonderful writers. You don’t have to click on any of the ads, but if you feel inclined they will help me with keeping the blog running.
A quick note about the ads. BlogHer is very understanding of it’s bloggers preferences and beliefs, and in keeping with this there are certain ads you will never see here on Not Your Average Widow. Because I am a firm believer in health and nutrition, you will never see ads for fast food restaurants or processed foods. Because it is my hope that every woman embrace her own unique beauty, you will never see ads for cosmetic surgery, diet pills, or quick weight loss schemes. And because I believe in respecting everyone’s differing beliefs, you will never see ads relating to any specific religious or political denomination.
Off to enjoy the rest of our visit, see you next week! <3
October 7, 2009
Feeling very weird this afternoon. I realized that I haven’t felt sad in a while. From about noon yesterday and on, I’ve really felt myself slipping back into our familiar old daily routine. The phone isn’t ringing as much, not as many people are coming by, and Little Dude is back to ‘normal’ on his schedule. I am doing things the same way as I always did before, throughout this entire deployment. The day is exactly the same now, only minus a phone call and a few emails. And it feels normal. And that feels so wrong. I think I am sinking into a weird state of denial or disillusion. As long as nothing triggers my thoughts in that direction, I could go on for a while pretending like everything is ‘over’ and ‘back to normal’ and one day The Hubs will call with his flight itinerary and I will start getting things ready for his homecoming. That is exactly how I feel right now. It just feels like he is still deployed and still coming home one day. I have this constant feeling of waiting humming in the background and I am not sure what to attribute that to. Is it that I am so crazy that I am waiting for him to come home still, or perhaps my subconscious is waiting for me to come out of denial and accept that he is gone? Part of me really feels like I need to do something to trigger myself and the flood of a breakdown that is lingering behind the huge wall I have put up, and then the other part of me is too afraid and sad to do that and is perfectly content to stay in my little dream world. I just think it is so weird that I haven’t felt sad or haven’t really felt anything for the last two days. I must be a cold heartless bitch. But maybe I’d rather be that than feel the misery I think is waiting in the wings somewhere. I really want to run away somewhere for a while, maybe go to Utah to hike the trails with T or go to Kentucky to have a beer with L. Somewhere that is completely different and maybe would shock my system into realizing that life isn’t normal right now. Okay, I am rambling.
This is another song I’d never heard until Camp Widow. I managed to not cry all day Thursday, all day Friday, and half of Saturday…until I sat in the ‘Mad at God’ workshop, which started out with this song. The flood finally unleashed, and I bawled like a baby. I still do when I hear it. But that’s not such a bad thing.
Full recap nearly finished, check back tomorrow!
Little Big Town — Lonely Enough
It’s been a long time since I prayed